He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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