Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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