Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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