Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
