We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
