Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
