Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??

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(469): View more from Texas

Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them

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(440): View more from Ohio

We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.

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(847): View more from Illinois

no one should ever give us hovercrafts

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(614): View more from Ohio

her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny

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(256): View more from Alabama

Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form

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(585): View more from New York

It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES

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