i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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