people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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