Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
