I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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