Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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