just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
