if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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