you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
