dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You need a sexual gate keeper
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
