You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
