after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
