He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
