I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
