Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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