So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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