p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
