i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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