I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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