your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize