Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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