i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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