Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
