it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize