Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
