How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
