I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
