Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
