Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
