He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
