i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
