It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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