Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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