I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
