so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
