Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
