It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
