Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
