Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
