it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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