THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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