508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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