"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
