I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
