I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
