I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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