Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
