so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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