I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When are your genitals available?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
