Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
