Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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