I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
is that a dick in a sweater?
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