Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
