I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
