she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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