she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
