so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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