you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
