you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
