Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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