we have officially lost it.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
