Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
